Last night I got sufficiently drunk because of half priced drinks at "The Apartment". I didn't think I was in the second-to-worst drunken state ever but it's clear to me now. Details are fuzzy, but as I went to the bathroom at 3 in the morning, I got up and flushed....only to somehow lose my balance and clutched onto a flimsy shower curtain for dear life, which of course broke the rod off the wall. I crashed into the bathtub, with legs hanging over the edge and the shower rod was horizontally hanging in front of my eyes. I sat and laughed for a good drunken 5 minutes.

I do believe this is the fattest i've ever been in my life. I'm scared to come home.